The Fall season is upon us, and in NY it usually means a few more weeks of warmth and then slowly but surely - cold weather. Are you ready? Are you actively out there and dating? Well, we are here to give some guidance. Lets talk about a first date. Fall usually brings more first dates as most people want to find somebody for the winter.
First dates can be stressful. Especially if you haven't gone on one in ages. What do you talk about? What happens if there's a silence? Is she enjoying the conversation?
Or let's say you have been going on a lot of first dates and not getting a second date. Is your conversation or lack there of to blame?
Stop wasting time worrying and start preparing instead! Here are 3 effective questions to try out on your next date. NYDC coaches have developed them just for you.
What scares you a little that you want to try?
This is a great question because you get a sense of whether your date is adventurous or not. Also it taps into the emotional side of us, women like emotion and bit of danger. This is a much better question then the "what do you do for fun?" snore fest question most people ask. Moreover, any question you ask, be prepared to answer yourself. This gives you a chance to show off your risk-taking side! (Very Masculine)
When was the last time you had a good old belly laugh?
Laughing is by far one of the best emotions to share and a great medicine for any ailment. Not only that, this question will give you a glimpse at the person's personality, and also the chance to tell you a story that they think was funny.
Notice, its is not the question "what makes you laugh" or worse, "what do you find funny" both of these questions are bad and unfortunaly overused.
We're talking about a natural reaction laugh, to remember it you need to feel it. The person you are asking a question to cant just say well that was funny, they need to feel that laugh- that amazing feeling of a belly laugh, that stays with you for a month, rather then just someting funny that you forget the same day.
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What world record would you love to hold?
Is your date a joker? Are they an athlete? A dreamer? You can tell an interesting amount about how someone answers this question. It will help you understand their personality and give you another chance to see their sense of humor on a much deeper level then the question " what are your hobbies".
Remember, on a first date you want to keep the energy positive and fun. A first date is no more than 2 personalites meeting to see if they're compatible again. So instead of redoing all of the boring logical questions you've tried in the past, try one (or all!) of these new conversation starters!
Homework: Try one of these 3 questions or make up something fun of your own to ask. Just remember, whatever question you ask is fair game to be asked right back to you. So choose wisely!
We have developed a series of questions that can truly change the dynamic on a first date from interview like to a genuine feeling of enjoyment. Your conversation skills play a large part in it.
Antonia Geno
NYDC Dating Coach
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